Both this month and last have been a whirlwind of commitments and filler. I don’t get as much time with the boy as I’d like, and I don’t get to see my family or his as much as I’d like, and I don’t get hardly any *me* time anymore. But I’m happy. Not just content. Not luke warm. Happy. I try, as much as humanly possible to pass that happy on to other people.

Finally I have found a spot to be exactly what I want to be with , and a person, who is completely content to let me be me. The fact that today I got an oil change, did laundry and some cleaning, had coffee with my bff, did some letter writing and some stitching, and some coding, does not seem strange to him. He has no mold that I need to conform myself to. It feels absolutely amazing to be accepted so completely. I hope he knows I feel the same about him.

Last night I made spaghetti, with perfectly cooked pasta and italian bread with garlic butter, and it was absolutely delicious. Last week I did shrimp and pasta that turned out nothing like I’d planned, with significantly overcooked pasta, but it was alright. It’s still a novelty to make something. It’s freaking awesome if it’s good. I’m starting to play with textures of foods and trying to pick out the different spices and foods that are put in the foods I eat, at least in my head. My refried beans have gotten pretty damn good. This batch of burritos wasn’t as good as the first, but they’re still pretty good.

I’m stitching again. Relearning all of the silly things I’d forgotten (pay attention to which way you’re stitching, silly woman, and for pete’s sake, mark your center so you don’t forget where it is and have to take out 60 very pretty stitches). I’m hoping to get back into it for longer than just christmas. I’m starting to be bothered by how much time I spend in front of the TV, not doing anything productive.

Too, and probably not a surprise to those of you that know me best, I’ve been having this intense battle with myself. I am missing something pretty huge in my daily interactions. I’m not really feeling like I’m doing anything that betters the human race, or betters a life, in a way that I’m not also padding someone else’s pockets. To that end I’ve been working on the website for my Church (which has been its own adventure), and I’ve applied to volunteer for Haven House.

Other than that… holiday cards are built and ready to go out, but I just realized they’re all square envelopes, so I’ll have to stop by the post office Monday morning and add the extra postage. Here’s hoping I get up early enough to make it to work on time.